Not The Only Ten I See…

You guys know this HAD to be coming… Tennessee, in my opinion, was the WORST 8-4 team in history. Then, they almost choked away a playoff appearance by dropping 3 straight before winning in week 17 to seal their playoff future.

Then, maybe, you might have thought that Tennessee somehow proved something by coming back in dramatic fashion in the Chiefs game (who I also talked about choking the season away, check it out in the “archive” section at the bottom of this page). The Titans were finally looking like a team worthy of being in the big dance, right?

 

WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGG (insert Donald Trump meme here)

 

The Wannabe Oilers just embarrassed themselves on national television, in most likely the most boring game of the 2017-18 playoffs. Sure, some may say they started out well, by scoring the game’s first points (after 2 punts). Okay, so you have that. Then what? Shut out the rest of the game, save for a garbage time TD which meant absolutely nothing in terms of the game decision.

Marcus Mariota needs some milk. Or a replacement. Or both. He looks so lost out there, it is truly undeniable. The only positive part of this team is Derrick Henry, and I feel bad for this dude, surrounded by scrubs and duds. The defense? Average. Receiving corp? Decent. Head coach? THE DUDE’S NAME IS MULARKEY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Anyone thinking these guys are worth two craps are full of malarkey.

The Titans are no closer to being relevant than the Bills are. The AFC is (still) plagued with mediocrity, and this is another chapter in the same ole book of shame. I just pray that one day, the AFC can begin to look like the NFC. It’s like Division 1 and Division 2 football, with the exception of ONLY the Steelers (who may no longer be great if Big Ben retires) and the Patriots (who, also, may no longer be great if Brady retires).

At least they have one thing going for them… They’re not called the Trojans. #condomname #yallsuck

RANT OVER.

2017 Recap

Here we sit, on the final weekend of 2017. Many strange and unusual things have happened. Many happy and joyful things have happened. Many horrific and awful things have happened. But best of all perhaps, Fantasy Unscripted was born in 2017.

For those of you who are new to our website, we thank you for taking the time to read our articles and listen to our podcasts. We also are on Twitter (@fantasyunscript) and Instagram (@fantasyunscripted). Our goal for this podcast/website/social media platform was to accomplish two things: One, we wanted to provide fantasy relevant information and news presented in a humorous way, and we love to laugh at idiotic things and poke fun at the expense of others. Second, we wanted to have a way for ordinary people to reach out to us and ask us ANYTHING! We really pride ourselves on being open and responding to all questions/concerns/comments we receive.

This is not the end! It may seem that since the 2017 FF season is over, we would be too. But that is not the case! We will continue to churn out content all off-season long, as well as continue our weekly podcasts and writing more funny articles as history itself progresses day to day.

Please feel free to subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, and we are going to be showing up on other platforms soon. We also have begun a new podcast segment, the Question Quarry. We depend on YOU, our followers, to submit questions to us that we will answer on our podcast, and even shout you out! Just mention us on Twitter or Instagram, use the hashtag #QuestionQuarry, or leave a comment here on our website. We accept all questions, from sports to real life and politics! Let’s have a ball together.

We here at Fantasy Unscripted want to wish you a very happy and safe New Years, and we hope that all you are looking forward to in this new year comes as it may.

2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Many blessings to you and yours,

 

– Jake the Snake, Barnacle, and Zdub

Is the NFL turning into the SFL?

As recently as last night, we have seen the NFL cracking down on illegal hits, excessive force, unnecessary roughness, etc. in the game of football. Most would argue that this is definitely important for the game we all know and love. But many players, coaches, fans, and the like are upset by the new wave of rule calling and fines that are being handed out at an outrageous rate.

This heated debate began on Sunday afternoon, when Patriots TE Rob Dumbkowski decided to People’s Elbow Tre’Davious White, while White was laying face down on the ground after an attempted tackle. The video was unbelievable, that someone would do that to somebody. Then things got worse.

On Monday night, The Pittsburgh Steelers hosted the Cincinnati Bengals in their yearly matchup at Heinz Field. During the 4th quarter, Steelers WR PooPoo Smith-Schuster decided to aggressively block a notorious bad egg for the Bengals in the form of Vontaze Burfict. Personally, I thought the hit was good, hard, and clean. But then Smith-Schuster stood over Burfict, looming about his dead carcass like a vulture. That’s what warranted the suspension.

Later in that same game, Steelers WR Antonio Brown went up for a TD catch in the end zone, to be knocked backwards by what WAS an illegal hit by Bengals safety George Iloka. Iloka was not suspended for his flagrant hit, which seemed to be in retaliation for Burfict being knocked out cold.

So the question is now this: Is the NFL turning into the SFL, or the SOFT Football League? Many say no, as these preventative measures stem from ongoing research into player safety and the ever serious CTE uncovering a few years ago. Others, like Steelers safety Mike Mitchell, think the league has become soft, and that the league should:

“…hand us all some flags and let us try to go out there and grab the flags off, [uh] because we’re not playing football. This is not damn football… this is a combat, contact sport; there’s gonna be injuries…” – Mike Mitchell

While I agree with Mitchell’s statements, he and others have to realize… This is NOT “old skool” football anymore. The game has advanced, and players have to adapt or risk being ejected, fined, and suspended. I do not think these rules turn the game into the SFL, but it does help protect fathers, husbands, brothers, and sons from having permanent damage to their bodies.

Obviously, no method is fool-proof in a sport that is so violent such as football. But these precautionary measures help to ensure the betterment of players, and helps them be protected from malicious intent and hateful plays, as we saw with Gronk, JuJu, and George.

 

Giants pitiful season plateaus with Eli’s benching

So most have heard, on November 29, 2017 at 3:10pm, the time at which I’m writing this article, that Eli Manning has been benched in favor of one Geno Smith as quarterback for the New York Giants. As far as fantasy relevance goes, this move hurts the entire team, save maybe Orleans Darkwa. Not that anyone was really excited about any Giants players anyway, with injuries to OBJ and Brandon Marshall, Sterling Shepard having his fair share of illness problems, etc.

Players like Evan Engram and the aforementioned Shepard definitely take a dramatic drop in terms of fantasy relevance. Having Geno under center is like paying for a Happy Meal and getting the toy only; minimal satisfaction, cheap build, and you know it will break in 3 days.

Let’s break down a little bit what EXACTLY happened here. We know the Giants have been struggling all season due to incompetency at the head coaching position, poor performance at the quarterback position, and a defense that was among the league’s best last year that has simply failed to resemble anything close to an NFL defense. Eli Manning had 210 consecutive career starts. His record: 110-100. Not TOO bad, but definitely not great. His TD-INT number is 334-222. He is a 2-time Super Bowl CHAMPION and a 4-time Pro-Bowler. He has thrown for over 50,000 yards in his career. And he lost his job to……….. wait for it…………… Geno Smith.

Ol’ Geno’s numbers are about what you’d expect to find on a crap turd produced by one of your pets this morning: career 12-18 record, 28 TD’s to 36 INT’s, has NEVER won a Super Bowl, or even been close to one, and has never been considered for a Pro Bowl. His career passing yards: a measly 5,962. This is the guy that has been selected to replace the once elite Eli. Unbelievable.

Giants fans, I’m sorry this year has been so crappy for you. Maybe the upper management will use this high draft pick in a way that can help right the ship. Although, seeing the way things have gone in the past, better not expect too much.

Don’t depend on any Giants players for your fantasy playoff run. Be smart, go pick up a hot waiver (listen to this week’s podcast to find out exactly who!), and win your league in style.

Chiefs epic fail sets tone for rest of season

Well, well, well. We are now well past the halfway point in the 2017 NFL season, with a bunch of bull crap, wanna-be Patriot teams getting ready for the playoffs (Rams, Vikings, Eagles to name a few…) In the AFC, the playoff picture looked all too clear for the team from Missouri, and then… 5 losses out of their last 6 games, and on Sunday, the Chiefs lost to one of the most God-awful teams in NFL history; the 2017 New York Football Giants.

Andy Reid and his staff looked like absolute geniuses when they began the season 5-0 with wins against the likes of the Pats and Eagles. Those days are long gone my friends! Alex Smith is back to being scared of anybody in an opposing team’s uniform, Kareem Hunt is basically a glorified dough boy, and Tyreek Hill continues to be a non-factor, even though he is one of the most explosive players in the NFL.

A drunken Eli Manning was able to make his way downfield in Sunday’s OT win against this piss poor team, and thanks to a (rare) non-missed Rosas FG, they came out victorious, barely scraping by once again. If you are a Chiefs fan, I sure do feel sorry for you. It looks like it’s about time to get that rookie QB in there… whatever his name is. Patrick My Homie is nothing more than a less-psychopathic version of Philip Rivers; a country hick who slings the ole pigskin downfield with his eyes closed in hopes that someone will magically run underneath it and catch it.

Thank GOD the Chiefs play in what is now one of the worst divisions in football, with other teams like the Broscar Weiler Wiener led Broncos, the rusty, junkyard Carr led Raiders, and the LA Chargers, who again, are led by a freaking sociopath who gets in arguments with himself in the huddle. They may actually have a fighting chance if they can pull their heads out of the giant turd piles they’ve been buried in.

One last note here: If KC makes the playoffs, and if by some UNBELIEVABLE turn of events, they actually win a game, then we should all move to Canada, because a country that allows such a frightfully atrocious team to even exist is not a country I want to live in.

 

THEY LOST TO THE FREAKING GIANTS, GUYS. GET OUTTA HERE WITH THAT BS.